Hey there, mommas, dadas, grannies, and loving people! Â As a mom, I want to share a story that resonated deeply with me. It's about the power of staying calm when facing our children's inevitable resistance.
A few days ago, I came across an interview with Dr. Becky Kenedy (HER TED TALK) in which she discussed the "Parent Job Description," emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and empathizing with our children. This struck a chord with me, especially as I navigate the challenging terrain of parenting my teenage son while my younger one seems to think he's already a teenager.
I've been wrestling with the balance of enforcing rules while also being their confidant and friend. Then, I heard Michelle Obama's words echoing in my mind: "If you want your kids to be your friends, then you worry about your kids liking you, and there is so much about parenthood that has nothing to do with them liking you."Â
As much as I cherish the moments of cuddling with my little ones, I'm also learning that being a parent additionally means experiencing the grief of letting go as they grow. It's about transitioning from being the nurturing arms that hold them close to help them become their best independent selves. Â
Last weekend, after a full day outdoors, we returned home tired and hungry. I had intended to feed my younger one early and put him to bed, but I got distracted. Suddenly, it was 7:30 PM, and my older son wanted to watch his favorite show with his dad before his own bedtime, which meant the little one needed to be in bed. Sitting beside my younger son, I gently fed him while allowing him to watch TV, knowing it would be easier to transition him to bed once he had eaten. Then, after dinner, he wanted to play with his toys to unwind from the movie. Transitioning him from playtime to bedtime seemed daunting, especially when I lacked the energy to face resistance. But instead of coercion, I chose love.
I sat and watched him play for a few minutes without a word. I gently touched his face, showing him love and admiration. In silence, I helped him get ready for bed, removing his shoes and clothes and putting on his organic pajamas. Surprisingly, I didn't face any resistance. I continued to give him love and gentle touches, and before I knew it, he was peacefully asleep.
At that moment, I realized the power of staying calm and connected as a parent. It's not always easy; I am not always that aware. However, that day served as a reminder of how important it was that, at least this time, I was able to nurture, set boundaries, and connect with my little one. Your ultimate power lies in your calmness. In the future, I will tell you if that works for my teenage son. :)
Eliana